The Incorporateds

The return of Halifax

Chapter 0

You might remember me.

I am the hero known as Halifax, who is somewhat of a legend in something of a
couple of lifetimes. As I relate this, Im in a much better frame of mind than I
was when I experienced this, and that's a good deal. I thought I should tell
this story myself instead of letting someone else rag about this I don't
understand very well. So, here I go, and read if you wanna. Im not a great
writer, but a great fighter, but this story I will tell to those who would
listen.

CHapter 1 "the Return of Halifax"

Well, i suppose those whom have ever been to split river city have known about
one of their greatest champions, the legendary being named Halifax. They also
could claim he was one of their foulest villians because the police reports for
nearly 40 years didn't have a single week without at least one harrassment
caused by said halifax, involving his teleportation powers in theft and
shoplifting and kidnapping and many other crimes a being needs to be good at
breaking in to be sucessful at. Well the bad claims i could lay to rest, for I ,
halifax, have returned, and have been returned for quite some time now
. And this is how.

I could remember dozing off for a moment during a great battle with my most
annoying of enemies, the vile shapeshifter Renegade who had been tormenting
my friend and ally Wilson for quite some time. Then inside a cavern i awoke,
uncertain of where i was, and not very pleased to see Renegade had ran away as
usual.

I had looked for my 2nd source of power (besides the one in my genes that gives
me the ability to 'fax' anywhere i need to be, which is an irony that can't help
to pertain to my birth name of Hal I Fax.), the mining gauntlets I had worn
during my early years as a miner mining scontopaca ore deep in cafatree. Since
they weren't on my hands i perused a dusty, old locker, and there they were,
most dusty. I wouldn't at all be surprised during my last battle with Renegade
he'd took em off before he put me into dreamland, because he knows even in my
sleep i'd be dangerous with them on. I could toss and turn with them on, and if
one gauntlet hit the bed, the bed would shatter, and well, bye bye bed. They
were good in fighting if i remembered that every blow i gave was multiplied
tenfold, and that an innocent punch given too hard rewarded its recipient with
a very bad concussion and a hospital stay not even villains would have to look
forward to.

I was able to exit the cave via teleportation and was probably on a lucky
streak, since i reemerged into reality above the ground instead of into the
ground like i might have feared. I would have used the mining gloves to punch
my way out but those who have learned about mining know you don't dig
haphazardly in strange places , you'd probably reward yourself with a cave in.
And as i turned, I could see the sun rise off in the distance.

What I first saw as mountains, I saw instead to be split river city's skyline,
seen almost a couple of miles away from where i was. It was pretty impressive on
me to see the mile-high spire, the big government buildings nearby, the megaway
curving around the whole deal to the south - a image i'd long remembered during
my travels with my father from the capital city after weekly journeys to
Endriver port, but that's another story. I didn't think much of there being
another spire being built by the first one and well under construction, or the
fact i'd been moved from the planet i was battling on during my slumber. I was
just glad to see home.

Chapter 2

I thought about walking back into the city at first, but seeing the quarter-mile
tall billboards that served as the city limits sign for split river city (though
technically the actual city limits are about 500 miles away, the old signs still
stand) painted with the words 'don't come here halifax you criminal' kinda made
me consider sneaking in as a better way of entry.

* Those who don't even know what split river city is about would need to know by
now, I suppose. It is perhaps not just the capital of the supercontinent of
Catica, but serves as the hub for all the ethinet main servers,
ambassadors, militiaries, and businesses of the Frontier, perhaps as
equally noble and corrupt a galactic planetary fed could get. Mostly tourism
keeps the city going since a lot of the corrupt officials on the central capital
island are freeloaders and wouldn't pay their own taxes to save their souls.
Split River city has also a notoriety in the fact they support the corrupt
military as well on the capital island, which is where I wouldn't wanna be near.
It's rumored my father had a bad relationship with someone in the capital and im
not going to let the media bring me down looking for more details of my dad's
affairs there.

* As for why split river city's city limits are no longer confined to the actual
city but end some 500 miles away, it was ruled some 22,106 years ago by one of
the commanders that the whole state line  the city was surrounded by
would be redeclared the new edge of the city,
since the commander grew weary of paying state taxes his
predecessor (both of whom i've heard were corrupt just like the other 2,000
commanders the military of catica has suffered having guard their security) had
imposed. I wont' go into more of the disturbing abuses of power the commanders
of the frontier have been into, making a state into a city is one of the least
disturbing ones i feel safe relating here.

I decided after a few abortive attempts to try hiding somewhere in the 3rd side
entertainment district, which had a river of its own flowing between the 2 main
rivers that merged at the edge of split river. It would be easy for me to hide
since I could split myself in at least two places, one for looking out and one
for being concealed. I probably wouldn't have hid if i hadn't seen that
vandalized billboard, for it's been good for caticans to know if their names
ever appear on the billboard in any negative way, it's likely they'll not be
thought of very well if they show up in split river city. Mostly a tradition of
the 1,000th commander the frontier has had, in making sure unwanted people are
ragged on that city limits sign. A tradition i sure didn't expect me to be a
part of , ever....

In hiding in one of Wilson's favorite haunts, the Phoenix grill, I felt most
safe in since I knew every few days Wilson had been there dining on fried
vegetarian dishes as custom. I didn't expect him to be there when I positioned
my head sticking out and concealed behind some bushes, with the rest of me
hiding in the bathroom. Or with company. But strangely, that day I found myself
seeing him from afar. And wondering , vaguely, why he looked a little older now.

Chapter 3

I'd never expected Wilson to dine with strangers, usually after dragging bad
guys to the prop authorities he would have been eating with me and Sierra, a
teenage girl i'd been entrusted to take care of some years back. I guess he
couldn't have found Sierra just yet, and had hired some help to help find her at
the time , for when he needs help he comes to the Phoenix grill, invites the
help as I look on, and then takes em back to thank em as they get ready to get
on with their lives. I do suppose by now you know his help has been mostly
superheroes and ex-bounty hunters now and then, but if you didn't, well now you
do.

He seemed to have a panther -like friend with him, but if it was a panther-human
I couldn't see anything similar to a cat's tail protruding from the obvious
place. I did see a shaft of light floating about like a scorpion's tail from
the obvious place,  but if that was an ordinary tail im my own father, and im
not likely to be anything like my dad Sannek( You'd spell and pronounce it
Sane-neck in your language, which im writing this in btw). And wilson stopped
talking for a moment so the panther-human could get a word in for a while.

"I'm surprised you consider mine-glove boxing a real sport nowadays", said the
panther. "I heard you could punch a brain out with one of those things."

His shorter, canine friend with hair as white as bottle-water flavored snowcones
had put a word in as well. "Hey casey, you could put your brain out with a golf
club, too you know."

Casey, whom i refer to the panther-human as in this point in my story, replied "
But golfing isn't a violent sport or a contact sport, Speedster. Where boxing
requires you be chaotic and  violent to suceed, I can say golfing requires only calm and
thought, calm and order for its sucess."

"Well, You should have seen some of those golfers i've seen on the television
when the water captures their balls and the trees slap their balls
and the grass eats their balls how little calm the golfers show. I've seen a lot
of them bend solid steel clubs with their knees and toss their worldly
possessions into lakes out of rage. "

"But golfers hurt only inaminate objects.", Casey said, rolling his eyes as if
he said something not quite giving his point a boost it needed to be made.


"Unfortunately, I wouldn't call the fish bonked by slow-falling golf clubs
inanimate, now. ", Speedster replied.

Then Wilson broke up the argument.

"Ahem. Let's save this discussion for another time. Right now I'd like to
discuss why we are going once and for all, and perhaps again for the 30th time
this day, why we are going to the scazo-lan tourney that the presidar of Catica
invited us on as a show of gratitude for us saving her daughter from slavers. "

"Because she asked us nice and the tickets were free?", Casey said.

"A good point and noble, but No.", said Wilson. "I believe that this year, a
former heroic friend of mine named Halifax will be there to defend his
Scazo-lan Boxing championship against any new comers like he has during his
criminal career. And i would like to be there to confront him for his crimes
he's committed, which of all is taking Sierra under his arm and mind-warping her
so she wasn't able to mentally grow up like kids her age could. "

Sierra? ME? I listened on.

"I think the free, ringside seats made him consider it more.", Speedster
whispered as Wilson continued. I swear for a moment he was staring at me from
where i was hiding.

"Confronting someone at a sporting event about his crimes ... wouldnt' that be
kinda bizarre if a criminal would be allowed to even have a sporting career when
he's wanted by everyone from the sangurians to the frontier for a list of minor
and major crimes longer than the river?", Casey said.

"Halifax used a loophole in the Catican constitution stating athletes don't have
to go to jail to keep on the lam. If he loses though, he's no longer protected
by the law, and anyone, even the cops, and especially even citizens such as
myself can come and drag him off to jail any unfatal way possible. I would like
to be the one who drags sierra's tormentor most of all for betraying his trust.
And since he has twin powers, one of natural teleportation and enhanced
blow-delivery via those evil mining gloves of his, I personally have asked you
to tag along."

"A man who could beat your face in from either side.", Speedster said, thinking
for a moment.

"Yeah, simply put, Speedster. Now, if you two wouldn't argue about golfing
versus boxing for a while, let's eat and pay for this meal and leave. I'd not
wanna be late for seeing him make his challenge to defend his championship near
the Capitol pavillion this year, like the last 39 years i've known halifax to
just be more and more evil...."

39 years!?!?
And sierra tormented by .. me?!?!

I fainted. Embarrasingly, my head remained stuck out of the hole in the space
continumn (there aint' no joint space-time continumn, this universe is not
capable of time travel like i keep hearing too many mad scientists rant on the
ethinet about a lot nowadays say it's otherwise). When I came to, they had left.
But least I wouldn't have far to travel, since I could stick my neck out not far
from wherever they were.

Chapter 4

I wondered, even as i was horrified about the possibility an imposter would have
cast a retardation curse on poor Sierra or had done much to tarnish my name as a
hero to this city and the rest of the frontier, how 39 years could have passed
while i dozed off. I hadnt' been given many clues other than new paint on the
oft- defaced city limits billboard, wilson being older, or , now that i'd had
noticed, how much the decor in the Phoenix Grill had been changed. But as I
peeked at billboards alongside the highways girding the twin forks of split
river city's river, there was a definite change in the date and time I'd be
deluded in believing was a error. Of about 40 cafatreean/earth years.

* cafatree, and earth, do not use a metric system for telling time like catica
does, but eerily both current calendars seem synchronized as of the present
time. As for what cafatree is, it is a continent bordering on the southern edge
of the catica supercontinent, which is seperated by a 10-mile wide and 5-mile
deep inlet. And in the Cafatreean Continent lives , by choice, all the survivors
and descendants of the same,  of Earth plagues and medicine that left them
in comas where the heartbeat was too weak to detect by primitive doctors.
So instead of really dying after being buried alive by mistake,
The same 1,000th commander I talked about earlier decided to make it
frontier policy to exhume then revive for thousands of years hence all the
near-dead people and animals buried by mistake by earth people,
and allow them to live on the Cafatreean continent the
remainder of their lives denied by earth superstition and yes, stupidity.
Unfortunately this policy has also allowed the
nearly dead Ogres, GoatSuckers, Dragons, Cyclops, and other
so-called 'myths' to survive near-fatal experiences at the hands
of warriors punishing them for crimes against decency and sanity, which
is why Cafatree has gained its own importance in the galactic scheme
of things - If it was ever imagined on earth, It still is on Cafatree. Yes, even
the politicians, whos continued desire to bribe people despite themselves being
exposed and nearly burned to death on the steak was not curbed at all being
allowed a 2nd chance at life. And since a lot of Cafatreean politicians confer a
lot with those in really high office, like that bizarre new 2,000th commander
of catica we have now, who claimed he was from earth and rose to
power so fast it could make hands spin( as
i later found out about) it's no wonder why , when studying history before
pursuing my brief career in mining, I saw a decline in the sanity and
quality(haha!) of the  commanders from the 1,001th commander on.

I had ruled out cryofreezing since i wasn't cold when i awoke, and stasis since
I didn't feel stiff , as to how I lost 39 years, especially since as I stirred I
didn't get off tables or walk out of glass tubes. No, I figured If renegade
tried to keep me from existing for 39 years he would have tried something
similar to what we call a Slow distortion. Nothing temporal about a slow
distortion like you read in sci-fi mags, a slow distortion just slows down the
speed which you travel through reality, not the actual time you exist in. Like I
said, no time travel in our reality. Not that I know of. And since I know that
Renegade could be anything he wanted ,being someone who could slow you down and
stop you somewhere you were , especially for say 39 years, would explain a lot
more of things.

I would have to deal with this hurting of  Sierra, but for now I was
curious to meet this so called 'halifax' who'd done so much harm. I could easily
put two and two together about sierra being hurt by this 'halifax' so soon after
I saw Renegade take her off, Or why when I went away this 'halifax' did
everything im not known for, say crimes and terrors like Wilson ragged about.
I'd believe it would be Renegade, most likely, who would do such a thing.

Renegade, you see, was the most well-known professional impersonator the SCE
had in its control, and I shudder to think, in its actual employ as well. He
could physically transform into you no matter where you were, if he wanted to be
you. Metaphysically transforming into you, though, would be a worse deal if you
had any metapowers or armanents, for Renegade was creative with his
transformations and exist within a form of you with treble your metapowers and
umpteen times your evil, regardless whether you had any or not. If I snuck over
to the park despite all those who might be there looking for me as well, I might
get a glimpse of this 'halifax' faxing in with thrice the disturbance I usually
make being in two places within the space continumn at once.

Then I'd know for sure.

Of course, If i had a vial of pepper in my hands, I'd be able to dump it in
Renegade's nose, he'd sneeze ,and he'd shed his taken form to reveal the true
seedy horse-cow form he truly has. That seems to be his main weakness no matter
what form he takes. But I wouldn't just go casually dump it in the middle of a
crowd where chaos might ensue. I'd have to pick somewhere more... fitting .

I hoped that if i did get pepper in some way that I couldnt' be spotted and
chased off for, how would I get it to renegade since it was likely at both this
challenge ceremony and sporting event they were going to have, there would be
security on hand even if the commander probably would have it just for show?

Chapter 4

I wonder if i should have earlier realized that Wilson's companions could have
been considered a group of their own. Especially since there were cheers all
across the capitol island of 'incorporateds' the moment they were in public
view. And believe me, there were lots of crowds out there like there always are
at boxing tourneys, holding up signs like 'save me too incorporateds' and
'halifax 0:00' all over the place, wearing t-shirts and mulling about behind
barricades just so the fans dont' swarm their idols to the point they destroy
that which they cherish. Makes me wonder if reality is fake sometimes, but then
considering how many places i could be in this reality at once, whom am i to
argue?

I saw from afar, on the grandstand, where the current presidar was located.
Although she wasn't much older looking than when my dad was romancing her some
45 years ago (as i quickly figured out) we catican's don't age very fast.
Usually we go senile at 100 or so somewhat, which I figured out my dad must be
now, but we still remain pretty well viable until 150 or so. But we get awfully
mean in those later years. }:)

And Rima Tasa Fahisan-Rahisan, ahem, PRESIDAR Rima Tasa Fahisan-Rahisan, was
still the president of catica as I saw, despite the fact she'd seen at least one
new Commander arguing morality with her since i'd departed. This was a new
commander sitting by her , obviously from earth and sounding annoying. I was out
of earshot but I can read lips, which I learned helps a lot since Wilson's aim
at enemies with his loudspeaker isn't always true as he is getting older. And
she was vainly trying to plug her ears with her fingers as he seemed to go
insane when Speedster walked up to the podium and pointed some sort of funnely
thing at him that glowed even in the bright afternoon. Then he sat down at his
seat.

At last, all the incorporateds were seated. And then I knew for sure Renegade
was pretending to be me.

You see, When I gate out from one part of reality to another, the portal is
surrounded by a peaceful glow, barely sizzing and not at all audible.

When 'halifax', the imposter one gated out, I could see fires belch out of the
chasm - and i'll use that term as a light description of the gaping hole that
materialized on the grandstand, with flares of light coming out making the day
darker. And they stopped when his feet got settled on solid ground.

If that isn't at least triple the effect my meager gating makes, I'll eat the
fedora Renegade used to wear before my time when he was cloning arms for Evrin
Tao during the last Earth war both were involved in.

Im serious about eating that accursed hat, really.

As I watched from the safety of some bushes with the rest of me safely hidden
some miles away, I wondered what this 'halifax' would do for his part of the
challenge he would make. And it wasn't slow in coming. He walked to Wilson where
he sat as Wilson had a face on him that could scare stones. Not the trolls that
liked tossing their rocky kids at seaplanes observing them near the southmost
cafatreean coast, mind you, i mean -inanimate- stones.

Then he spoke. It was my voice, of course, but it just didnt' seem right to me.
Especially since being good friends with Wilson I wouldn't say HALF of the
things the imposter said then and there.

'Well, well Wilson, I see you brought you some SLACKERS to come see me this year
to my annual tourney. Guess you and these PEONS whom the law won't let me be
confiscated by are gonna come by and see the victim I have chosen to torment
this very year. You wont' see the challenger last long, and This year, thanks
to that Commander person there, I'll ask him to choose one to torment for me
just so I can have a legal defense of my Boxing championship. Not just any reg'd
boxer this year - no i chose a citizen to beat up.. and when I beat that certain
citizen - I'll just go forth and beat up other citizens , all 3 hundred million
living within this city , and maybe everyone else up! And you just try to stop
me , Wilson - I'll beat you up from EVERYWHERE." I saw him finish his rant, then
'halifax' waited as the boos started coming forth. Some fans don't like being
threatened apparently, but since It was illegal to pelt champions with
vegetables (yet one more ruling the 1,000th commander put us catican souls
through for so many thousands of years), sadly. I would have broken the law then
and there, but there was one more thing as Wilson quietly stared at the fake
halifax.

Wilson growled, "Have you and that commander ________ chosen me, you moron?"

And the imposter sighed back.

"Commander Demon?", he Said to the commander as he turned his head. Didn't
bother to turn his body too, but wouldn't have fazed the crowd watching the
spectacle much I'd believe.

The Commander looked, stood up, and pointed at the one I knew to be Speedster.

As Speedster stood up and looked at the Commander, I would have expected the
crowd to have stormed the stage and tore it down. Asking a newly discovered hero
to be hurt violently by a crazed, known criminal who apparently, if he'd had the
boxing championship a while, was also a good boxer was a horrible thing to
suggest, but not expected from what I later found out was the 2,000th commander
of the frontier. I prayed somehow that I would be responsible to see he was the
last of the Commanders plaguing catica, no matter what the cost. As I write this
from later on in my life, I regret praying that wish even if it DID come true...

But then Renegade/halifax/that imposter, he saved that crowd the trouble. I
could see it in the presidar's eyes this had happened before, and what this was,
was this: Renegade/halifax just put his foot down, and the sheer force he
delivered from his feet shattered the floor of the grandstand. Immediately all
the seats, as well as those who were sitting, just did not beat the floor's
wooden shards to the ground. And then, as Renegade/halifax opened a portal in
the sky he just jumped through and vanished as equally dramatic as the first
one, a different form of crowds rushed the grandstand as all the onlookers rushed to
whatever their primal instincts deemed 'safe distance.' Namely, all the security
surrounding the grandstand who went to ensure whomever they had loyalty too as
well as the 'newcoming' heros were safe.

I faxed to another hiding place to get a better view, and what i saw from afar
wasn't at all surprising. Wilson, the one named Casey, and the one named
SPeedster, seemed pretty resilient as heros are expected to be and walked over
to where the commander and the presidar were sprawled. What I saw next was not
very surprising. The presidar stirred and grabbed, out of view of the onlookers
hiding in the grove of trees i just hid in myself, the commander and kept trying
to use his head as a hammer to begin effecting repairs on the grandstand. Either
that, or she was grabbing him by the neck and having his head pound into the
ground repeatedly for less noble reasons. I'd have picked the less noble
reasons. And , to add insult to injury, the one named Speedster seemed to
blur-run right to where the commander was and chew him out, despite being twice
as small, while the Presidar kept trying to injure the Commander's brain. Not
that asking a boxing felon to go and injure a newly-discovered hero wouldn't be
something the thoughtless commmanders of my world wouldn't sink to.

Chapter 5

It would be noteworthy to let this be known, that the last 1,999 commanders were
also in attendance at the event, though physically they were quite dead and long
buried in unnmarked graves , most decidedly unmarked because vandals decided
that erasing the names would be very redemptive and anyway those grave goods
all those commanders insisted be buried with them really did
belong to the people they originally, and legally, belonged too.

Not on a physical level, mind you, but on a metaphysical level as they infested
spirit-wise the armor all the commanders from the first one on wore as part of
their station. A armor that was cursed to contain the souls of everyone who wore
it , regardless whether they were dead or alive at the time they had worn it.
And it was the combined efforts of 1,999 madmen (more than likely driven mad by
their own predecessors) which ultimately guided the latest commander into
a madness of his own. Most likely why we don't just give up on having commanders
of our space armies, they'd probably do more damage out of power than within.
And there is, tragically, proof to confirm this need to keep commanders
currently in power, most noteworthy was that 1,000th commander i seem to keep
mentioning.

A few of those among all the security who were on lien from the Dogelian
Justiceers, who defend this planet's other supercontinent and are actually noble
in their pursuits and lives ,did the right thing and tried their best to pull
the presidar to safety despite the fact she was beating on a military official.
And just to safety as I saw them call only for ambulances, not for a paddy
wagon. As for the frontiersmen of Catica who were themselves on security, they
too wanted to part the Commander and the Presidar. But they worked on getting
the Commander out of harm's way instead, especially since they must have felt
Speedster might have been a threat to the commander as well. And they high
-fived their Commander a lot as well as they led him off ,and were rewarded
by being dragged towards his clenched fist. Dragged, as in
'the-commander-lifted-his-arms, the-armor-mystically-dragged-them-to-his-fist,
and-then-they-collided-and-got-just-as-hurt-as-if-the-fist-was
coming-towards-them, not-the-other-way-around.' BRRRR.

It was chaos for a while, but eventually order was restored. It didnt' surprise
me to see this, even in a time I am now sad to say is forever 'my time' a much
younger presidar would get into physical battles trying to keep a
legally-and-metaphysically protected Commander in line. Of course, this was a
new deal I saw during this particular tragedy of errors as the Presidar's
daughter (who looked oddly like she'd be a cousin or stepsister of my family)
joined in the melee when it erupted again about 30 minutes later when the
Commander, to add insult to injury, proclaimed that the Presidar's daughter
would have better to have served the drug-running ninja cults plaguing
the populace of Caffatree's northern regions than to have been saved at all by
a 'lamer' like he proclaimed his 'abuse puppy' Speedster to be. That too was
broken up even if the presidar's daughter proved herself well in battle with the
commander most impromptu,  and I thought for a moment Speedster would have
restarted that melee with that look of disgust on his face he had for the
commander, save for the fact Speedster seemed to stare right at me, then he
blurred again. I saw the melee settle down as more frontiersmen paid for their
support of the psycopathic commander, then everything seemed
to vanish in a blur as the blur that was Speedster
-really- got close and personal.

Chapter 6

When next I blinked, I saw the evening sky begin to take shape, and wondered If
speedster had knocked me out for a while. To see where I might be lying, I gated
my face behind my head, thus showing the universe you could have eyes in back
of your head despite a lot of teachers being proved otherwise in front of their
students. And I saw I wasn't lying down, but being held by my shoulders by
Speedster, who despite being almost twice as small as me as well, showed no
effort in holding me backwise in the air. The effort of him taking me there
despite pulling me forcibly through one of my portals out to where i was hiding,
though , was evident. but only that.

He set me down and examined me, then pointed his funnel at me at a moment. I
thought for a moment he'd mistake me for the imposter but he didn't look with me
at all with anger. Mostly with sadness. I would talk to him, but with caution,
anyone who'd carry me like a feather and would dare carry me back through one of
my own gates (which I must have through instinct alone expanded so I ironically
could carry him as much as he must have just carried me) I'd probably learn to
respect pretty quickly.

"Well, have you any thing to say, like thank you?"

It was in midwestern cafatreean he said that in, or if it was'nt it probably was
the more colloquial 'english' i learned terrans speak a lot of. Luckily i know
overall cafatreean which probably IS the same as english for all that I've
learned in school, so i talked to him back in the exchange of words between me
and him that followed below.

"Thank you for what? For dragging me off?"

"It looked like someone was trying to drag you off somewhere you didnt' want to
be."

"HMN? well, Speedster, if that is your name, Im sure not glad to be dragged all
the way together, to my hiding spot. Wouldn't someone have noticed your
disappearance?"

"They'll figure out that soon enough. ", Said Speedster, as he sniffed the air
and coughed . "Man, this air isn't very polluted is it? too clean. ". THen he
took his funnel and put it in his backpack behind him, and winced. And I could
see why, for a splinter had impaled his hand. I probably would have been
disgusted, but I didn't see any blood come out, nor did I see much come out when
he pulled the splinter out and tossed it into the ground.

No, that last sentence I didn't misword.

I replied "Hmn, perhaps they did finally enact some decent pollution controls
for a change" quietly. Then I followed with "Why did you drag me off when
someone else was dragging me off?"

"Because it looked like hell from a moment, I noticed from afar, a third hand
had been trying to drag you off to. I wondered if it might have been your hands.
Looking at your hands, I can see a difference. Those mining gloves you wear
aren't as ugly as those on the hands of the other ... let's say 'evil twin',
right now, had on his. "

"Renegade?", I said to Speedster.

"Hmn?", he replied. Obviously Renegade and Speedster hadn't met yet, but this
new difference you could see between me and Renegade who probably sensed me
spying and tried to eliminate me before I could expose him was now apparent.
Probably wanted to intervene , i guessed and i felt i guessed rightly, Renegade
did, in insuring he wouldn't be exposed by the real Halifax, would have used a
corrupted version of my powers to send me to wherever Speedster had seen that
could be described as 'hell.' Im not sure I want to go whatever hell is.....

"I noticed you don't like the Commander.", I said to Speedster. "Well, that
being pretending to be me, who is called Renegade in your language, has a
relationship nearly as bad with me as the commander apparently has with you. You
do relate to hate-hate relationships, don't you?", I continued.

"Did your friend renegade ever treat you bad as a child, ever feed you your own
decapitated tail preserved with formaldehyde and murder in cold blood thanks in
part to a sangurian hit squad the very first true friend you ever had."

"Nothing that disturbing." And I thought i was having problems. "The one I was
entrusted to care for was taken away, and maybe, driven insane by Renegade,
plus he's ruining my life with this charade."

Speedster looked back at split river island's capitol building. Then he said, "I
relate. You're luckier than I am, but yes, I do relate."

"Then", I said to Speedster, who was obviously shaken, "You know if Renegade
fights you in a boxing tourney even if you could outrun him, you'd lose because
he'd cheat to see you win. "

"Yeah, he'd outbox me too, since my combat skills aren't developed in a
hand-to-hand sense. ", Speedster thought. I wondered if his brain was bigger
than advertised, seeing how that statement certainly was much smarter than his
ragging about "the water captures their balls and the trees slap their balls
and the grass eats their balls"... man. I wondered If speedster had to fake
brillance just because Wilson, and that Casey he was also hanging out with,
might have worried. "You think Renegade, whatever he is, is pretending to be
you?"

"Only because he Can", I replied. If i told speedster then in more detail about
what Renegade could do with ANY power or persona he chose would it have
mattered. "

"Do you know anything that would give me an edge in fighting him?", he said.

"Yeah. I know two things. Let me do the fighting for you. And bring a whole
bunch of pepper to ringside. A whole bunch.", I replied.

"Why pepper? Is renegade allergic to pepper?"

I just shook my head up and down. Cafatreeans always take that gesture as a yes
even if you nod off to go to sleep.

"I have an idea," he said to me . "How we can both get out of this mess both our
great enemies have put us through."

I listened. I worried Renegade might listen in, but I would believe better he'd
be training for this fight before the fight. I hoped he would train harder now.

Chapter 7

Speedster let me tap into his conversation later on, just before the match. He
was trying his best to learn how to fight fist-to-fist, as opposed to fighting
with a plunger instead. I saw he wore earth-regulation gloves, the kind that
don't cave in your face if you're hit with them with utter rage propelled by
madness and magnified by force-enhancing tech.

*  Also they look nothing like their cafatreean inspirations,
those armed samurai gauntlets sans tubing a lot of
samurais who had their honor taken from them by force used to wear, until they
were revived after not quite bleeding entirely to death on the battlefield and
became the honest lawyers keeping cafatree a noble realm , especially with all
the lawsuits being won there against the grittiths who keep sabotaging
trains they secretly own for the insurance down there.

* I do not vouch for the sanity existing on the continent of cafatree. You can
blame our long-deceased 1,000th commander for that ,who probably furthered his
evil legend by suggesting to the 2,000th one he hire someone to injure his own
pet dog in battle among others. Like I say, if you listen to 1,999 lamers and
often (it used to be only  1,997 lamers in my day, remember that) you're gonna
be a lamer, sir. And a evil one at that.

"Wilson, I don't think you're going to be able to transfer his current martial
artistry into pugilism in just one day. You could put skills in a mind of
a soul, but without experience or wisdom to temper the skills the skills are
meaningless.", said Casey.

"He could learn pretty fast. You know as well as I do he does everything fast.",
Wilson said.

And Casey's reply was "But considering what a monster you've claimed Halifax has
become Im not sure sending Speedster any amount of rounds would do him any good.
After all, Halifax has the power to bend space and time to his whim so he can be
in two places at once, and the moment Speedster could land a blow from in front
Halifax could throw two from behind and then much worse."

"Better he at least have a chance than no chance at all.", Wilson said.

Then Speedster spoke up.

"What are the laws of mining-glove boxing in this time and age?", he said, as on
cue.

Wilson replied, "All of them?"

Speedster replied as he took off one glove to show his injury. The scar that was
faintly transparent was a lot more healed now but it was obvious?

"Just the ones pertaining to this.", he said.

Wilson sighed. "Dang, how did this happen?", he said.

Speedster said the truth about that and left out my role in him running off
towards me when the fracas earlier that day ended.

Casey sighed.

Wilson said "well, that's a relief. The laws of mining glove boxing do state you
cant' box if you're injured. that means you don't fight him... but someone else
of your choosing must. You sure you got that by accident, though?", Wilson
grinned. As if he wanted to fight Halifax himself.

I knew something about mining glove boxing myself, having watched it for some
years before I was stalled in that space warp. Maybe now it would also explain
why Renegade chose to impersonate me, and master mining glove boxing to further
the illusion of me being a bad cat. I knew all too well Wilson was legal to box
under those rules, despite having a cybernetic arm that would be much further
enhanced by mining gloves he'd probably choose, that Speedster would not himself
choose to wear. One blow in and even Renegade'd be hurt and out even if he made
himself a rock form at the last second.

But that wouldn't clear my name and legend.

And here's where the plan went down.

Speedster simply said "No. I have another choice to replace me. "

I guess Speedster was lucky enough to have that splinter go through his hand.

And now I knew what was coming next.

Chapter 8

Within a arena held within one of the spaceport hangers, Renegade (pretending to
be me again as usual) had materialized, overdoing the effects on the
teleportation to frighten the crowd. I wonder sometimes, looking back, if those
effects hadn't also been partly mental since he did have some sort of demonic
empathy over beings who got too close. He was known once to warp a whole planet
of people 5000 years ago , according to the legends, into believing they all
were lemmings just because the Emperor Kingston told him too. For one year,
tragically, the sharks of that world had never a better feast. It is a
considered miracle they never had others to follow that seemed weaker every
year. Our 1,875th commander, before he went mad as expected and walked about to
each of that planet's domiciles slapping all the population one by one, was
instrumental in that miracle, and blamed , you guessed it, commander 1,000's
spirit in possessing him to slap nearly 36,500 people in a 10-earth-year period
before he was dragged back to catica. I think it was justice Renegade broke his
every single bone after that lame moment in a long line of lame commanders, but
then im not a genuine history buff. My expertise is in being a hero.

And then , Speedster , without those gloves on and with the funnel glowing,
walked out at the appointed hour. The Commander made a guesture I've seen in
cartoons coming from cafatree most often which is highly insulting despite his
lack of being , well, a cartoon, and Speedster looked him right in the face.

Renegade stared too, as Speedster pulled a towel out of his backpack, and dumped
a can of pepper on it. Renegade looked at it odd , but since it wasn't touching
him at the time Renegade continued the Charade. "Well, are you going to get in
the ring or not, and face the death the commander has been - heh - forced to
deal to you?"

A lot of moans from the audience. They did NOT come to see death, just a
beating. Like I said, i do know some about mining boxing. Im sure the ratings
would go up a lot in that moment on all the ethinet vision stations, even the
pirate ones the sce were hacking and rehacking into the ethinet clear across
the universe from their own sannet. They always did, that i did studies on when
I should have learned more about galactic history, or as I called it and got a D
for, "When did this commander #XXXX make his dynasty of leadership sink to the
new low within his new lifetime. " You'd be surprised, getting that D -was- yet
another law.

"No", Speedster said. " I asked someone familiar to you to come in and fight
you. Im not risking your friends , current or ex, future or past, against your
fists. Im not going to risk myself because the rules say I should not. But
whomever you fight that comes to fight you, I hope you fight well for your
sake."

"I could take ANYTHING ON, ", said Renegade in my voice. I could almost hear a
demonic bass now , so cocky was he becoming. Perhaps the pepper was probably
affecting him too even when it was well outside the ring.

Speedster pointed his funnel where I was hiding. And I came out.

The crowd was shocked to see me come out, looking like I hadn't aged in 40 years
where Renegade had aged his form of Halifax to be a more convincing act. As I'd
planned, I rubbed my hands on the towel then came in the ring. If a referree had
been sanctioned to watch over this fight, he was hiding on another planet. I
wouldn't have blamed him.

"Nice .. form, re.. rennne.. renega...", Renegade said, trying to make the crowd
believe he was still halifax and he was facing Renegade who came to expose an
imposter. Wrong.

Commander Demon (demar to others) exchanged stares at Speedster as he sat down
by the towel and began prodding it with his funnel.

There was no further ceremony, no further need for a bell to ring. I just let
him have it, my enhanced blows hitting his face at a fatal level of strength. To
any normal opponent, that is. But , I know too well, I seem to have a 3rd power
I don't talk about much in addition to the other two I've mentioned already.

Chapter 9

I am slightly invulnerable, like my dad Sane-neck before me , to a lot of things,
like blows and bullets. I can be affected by em, but not as much as most people.
And one thing's for sure. Renegade, in what people of the world I know Speedster
comes from now that they haven't discovered yet, tranforms into an exact
duplicate of that he impersonates, on a molecular, metaphysical, and genetic
level. And that means since I am slightly invulnerable, that would make Renegade
who also then triples the powers of whomever he impersonates very, very
invulnerable. I bruised him for about a minute with those mining gloves, who's
tubing lit with each enhanced blow as they're designed to do to let other miners
know they've just hit something, please be wary. But Renegade, I knew, wasn't
bound by honor as Wilson , who was stunned right about now, expected and I felt
the blows come from behind. Blows that hurt.

I began staggering after giving a few good roundhouses to his chin, which was
shimmering in the light of the ring. He was punching my back about 3 times to my
one and It was hurting my spine, causing me to be dazed. No doubt I wouldn't
last long, and if there was a ref, he wouldn't let it last long. But I know that
I did try to fight him at first. And I did try to fight fair.

I was sinking on the ropes of the circular ring when Renegade looked at me. All
he would have needed was one punch and he could be the victor, then he'd
probably go on and keep his promise. Speedster knew it too, as he reached for
the towel solemnly.

Renegade saw this. He goaded me to fight on. "Come on, Renega.. gade... prove
you're a better Halifax than I could ever hope to be. ", he said among the boos.

And I replied to Renegade, "You're Right i'm a better halifax than you hope to
be. But one thing i'm not is a Renegade like YOU. I give up. ", I said with a
smile on my face he tried to smack off but failed.

Seeing the nosebleed was all Speedster needed , and he used his funnel to pick
up the towel and fling it to Renegade. I wonder to this day if Renegade ever saw
it coming. Or for that matter, did the commander who was too busy hating
Speedster to intervene.

The moment the towel hit Renegade, everyone gasped.

And they gasped some more when Renegade's skin, in the form of my own, buldged
and changed texture, violently being twisted as Renegade began sneezing himself
silly. Hair flew as he shed a mane not his own and horns poked out from nowhere.
And at last, Renegade, in his true form , towered over me at least 8 feet tall
to my modest 6 and a half. But even if Renegade still had a height advantage the
embarrasment he was going to encounter now kept him from starting a all new
fight. Fine for me , i was too out of it to fight him at the moment. Then he
left his own way , and simply vanished without any special effects created by
mysticism - just a whole lot of haste.

Commander Demon looked on. Since not one rule in Mining glove boxing prohibits
people putting pepper on towels, but there is a rule that states anyone
impersonating anyone can no longer be safe from retribution by any authority,
Renegade had a right to leave quickly. And the other rule, which states a legal
official can be dealt with if he goads an imposter to do harm to anyone, knew
what was coming especially since the Presidar and her daughter were, at the
time, sitting side by side. I doubt it hurt less being protected by 1,999
madmen's spirits, him subsequently being hit a whole bunch of times
by those two noble women surrounding him, before the frontiersmen could drag him
to safety. Phantasms are no good in preserving dignity once it is lost.

Speedster had something to say on my behalf. About time too, that mob was almost
getting as unruly as both their leaders. He did wait a minute or so for them to
cart off Commander Demon, just to see the embarassed look on his face.

"I'd like to explain something. You see, for the past 39 years, Split River City
has had to endure a lie. Your greatest hero, Halifax, has been made a fool of by
an Imposter your parents will have known as Renegade, a covert operative for the
Sangurian Criminal Empire. Yeah, I found out that myself a couple of weeks ago
about Renegade , but I thought those were rumors until I saw it for myself with
my eyes, as well as you with yours all over the ethinet. I ask that since we
have seen Renegade exposed as a fraud, I can say anything Halifax has been
blamed of doing for the past 39 years was committed by that same Fraud. And
might I ask of everyone present today to accept the clearing of the name of
Halifax on all public records and in all the minds of the people seeing this.
Halifax deserved a better fate than to have an imposter steal a life he just now
tried to reclaim. Please let us all give Halifax another chance."

I could hear silence now.

"And personally, if anyone asks what will become of this championship in Mining
glove boxing, I hope someone else claims it other than Halifax or Renegade. And
I would hope personally someone else can, for I declare Halifax, for the efforts
he has had in the past, be signed.." (I could see Wilson look straight at me,
almost in tears over this) "to serve with our group, the Incorporateds, for the
duration of our battle against the SCE and redeem his true love for all his
days, which would make him busy enough not to have to deal with boxing ever
again  - but he will certainly do all he can to avenge himself for all the deeds
Renegade has done- and one day pass on with a Legend that will finally shine for
years to come. Wilson, you got anything to say?"

Wilson looked on. "Yeah. I'd like to say I agree with all this. And Halifax",
said Wilson towards me. "I hope you forgive me for all.. the anger.. i felt
towards you when I never knew whom you truly were. But if you wanna go back and
rejoin this battle I've had all my life against the SCE as before.. So be it."

I looked back at Wilson. I said "So be it."

I had no idea why Wilson called his new group the Incorporateds at the time. But
at least now, I could finally begin fighting the SCE in earnest at long last,
plus perhaps, I could find out if Sierra could be saved from the fate Renegade
put her through. At least now, like my dad would say, My life was being served a
good deal. Even if put on standby for 39 years.

The crowds were cheering madly, and even strangely enough, the Presidar's
daughter was cheering too. I wonder if Commander Demon would ever cheer again
because of this turn of events, but that was moot. It was a shame the ethinet
network cut off at that point, but least i know this much. It was the best time
I've ever had jobbing in my entire life ,and I haven't jobbed since . }:)

Chapter 10.

You know what happens next. I joined the Incorporateds, and did a lot of what I
needed to do to redeem myself in the galactic scheme of things.

I didn't write the future stories, though. I'm too busy living to write down
what happens to me next at this point in time... wherever I am writing this
down. All I know is, whatever happens next - is going to be sure be exciting.